Forsaking all the rest Ch.11

Chapter 11: Mattress

(Santana)



I was on my way home, dodging orange leaves that tried sticking themselves to my hair.
I'd been seriously moved by the true colours and deaf choir preformances - not that I would ever truly admit it. The true colors preformance was really insulting at first since it kept reminding me of Brittany's VIP preformance in her bedroom, but then after some rehearsing it became something good instead. I couldn't keep the smile away as I sung the words, for the first time wanting to show the glee club how much I loved being a part of them. Momentarily, of course.

But the down side was that me and Brittany wasn't really speaking. I knew it was my fault, being the judgemental and annoying bitch that I am.
I had ignored the possibility that Brittany had even tried finding a song that fit me, and scared to death by the thought of the song being anything deeper than "Wanna be" by Spice Girls.

So I was relieved I didn't get to sing my song and refused to bring it up.
But this afternoon I hurried home and stopped to flirt with my neighbour Pete to make me feel better. He's 25 and has a girlfriend, but hey, she's not my problem.

"So, I know you girls are crazy about animals. Wanna come inside and see what I've got?" I answered quickly and right on.
"I don't know Pete, how big is this animal?" I let my eyes travel down to his pants, and when he laughed and waved his big hands I raised an eyebrow and grinned.
"No, no not that animal. Though he'd really like to meet you some time," he winked at me. "Nah, this is Catnip. We thought she was just fat until a couple of weeks ago when I opened my wardrobe and found her with four kittens on my old football jacket."
I nodded, pretending to be interested, touching my neck to make him look at it.
"Sure, show 'em to me. I like pussycats." He put his hands on my lower back and guided me in, while mumbling into my hair;
"Oh, so do I. I love pussy... cats" Ugh. He was pretty disgusting. I mean, he was popular but truly kind of pathetic, but he smiled a lot and he never tried anything with me, even though his flirting were always turned on... and needed some serious work. But I was used to dirty talk after all those nights with Puck, so I didn't really notice it. My head was like a filter, and just took out anything I didn't need to have an answer for.
Besides he had no idea how well that seemed to explain me too these day. More and more often, when I lay in bed trying to get myself going, Brittany's long, smooth legs and lavender blue panties would sneak into my mind. Peeking at her in the locker room had become the best part of my day. Now I shrugged it off, enjoying the feel of his big hands resting on my back.

"In here," he said slowly,leading me into the living room and there lay Catnip on the sofa, still fat, but with four small kittens running around her on the mat. "The white one is sold to old Mrs. Rose, and the two brown ones we're gonna keep. But this fellah," he said, nudging at the striped, fat kitten with his foot. "We're gonna have to sell him too. He can't stay, he eats way too much already and we think he might have diabetes or something." The kitten gave up a mew that sounded like a rubber duck, before attacking my feet. I nudged it away, but it just wiggled it's little butt in the air, before trying to swallow my shoe laces again.

"Wow, he's kinda cute" I admitted, sitting down to nudge the thing with my hand instead. It purred loudly, before burying it's teeth into my thumb. It didn't hurt since it was just playing, but I couldn't shake it off.

"He sure seems to like you," Pete nodded, sitting beside me on the floor, picking the white furrball up, and the little angel started licking his hands. I liked the black and brown one better. He put up a fight, and charmed me against all odds. I didn't want a kitten, I'd never wanted an animal, but... I gotta admit I was a little tempted as he bore his golden eyes into mine, trying to challenge me.

"My dad want to just throw him out because he keeps destroying our furniture, but I hope we'll get him sold before that happens," Pete told me, shrugging. "He's worth a lot." He didn't really care, I could tell. It was probably time for him to move out, but he seemed to like living with his parents and in Lima Heights it's not really unusual for guys to move out first when they hit the big 3.0.

Then it hit me, and it all just seemed too perfect. I ignored the animals around me and leaned into Pete, putting my hands behind me and sticking out my rack to make sure he saw the shirt tightening over them.

"Well, Pete, I have a proposition to make..." I used my sexiest voice, and I could almost smell on him that his pants grew tighter against his crotch.

"If I were to take this kitten off your hands, maybe you'd give him to me in exchange for... a little get together." Pete's hand gripped the side of my back, and I pretended to give up a sigh.

"What kind of get together?" He asked me, murmuring it in what he must've thought to be a sexy voice. I tried not to laugh.

"Well, that's up to you. Just you and me of course," I said breathily, letting my hand rest on his upper thigh. God, I had him and it felt good.

"Somewhere out of sight... we wouldn't want someone to disturb us, I mean." I turned to look at Pete, and his eyes were glossy.

"Uhm, sure..." He let his hand travel down to my butt on the floor. I smiled wickedly, picked up the kitten and climbed on top of him, feeling the hardness against me. Then I leaned in to whisper;

"Pick me up at eight on tuesday," He closed his eyes, swallowing and I quickly moved off of him and went out the door, cat fussing in my arms, walking quickly towards Britt's neighbourhood.

It was a pretty expensive cat, I knew that because Cruella had went on and on about Catnip being some kind of hundred dollar rarity, and even though I wouldn't have minded paying this was so much more fun and at the same time would leave me more money to spend on clothes.

I needed Brittany to forgive me, she was the best I had. When she wasn't my friend I was out of control. Not being near her made me act without thinking, like this afternoon after Mercedes told me about Puck being the father. I left her immeadiatly, slamming Quinn's locker shut and yelling at her to keep her dirty bitch paws off my man.

It was Kurt's stare when he went by that kept me from telling her that I knew who the bastards father was. I calmed down enough. I don't even care about Puck and Quinn that much, but when I hurt Brittany I just needed something to take out my frustration on, and Quinn had always been there for me to do that before.

It wasn't eaxactly Puck I was missing. I needed my cheerbitch back. She was the one who got me back on track, who pushed me down when I got too high and mighty. She was my friend.

I winced at the claws of the little monster in my arms, but instead of banning it, I tickled it under the chin, and it started purring loudly. That gave me enough of a thrill to make me run the last few hundred meters, and then push the doorbell with my elbow. It was quiet and for a second I was scared she wasn't home. But she had to be. I pushed it again.

"Coming!" I heard her voice from inside, and then there she was, staring at me in complete shock, not even seing the kitten. But he decided himself to remind us by boxing at my curls, and Brittany's lovely, blue eyes grew even wider as she saw the kitten.

"Hi," I told her, and she looked up at me again. "I thought... you might like him." I didn't know what to say. Suddenly I realized how stupid I'd been. Bringing a cat without even asking for permission from the parents. I was trying to put a life into Brittany's hands, force her to feed another mouth while she was still hoping to find her old cat. I suddenly felt ashamed and the grip on the kitten doubled.

It squeked and stared at me angrily, before turning to Brittany and reaching out his nose to smell her. It was amazing how every single animal we met seemed to love Brittany. I guess it was because she was so much like an animal herself. Selfless and soft and happy go lucky most of the time. Like a little puppy or maybe a baby duck.

"Hi there, chubby." The cat pawed her hand at that, and Brittany laughed. "Sorry, you're perfect." At that he started purring so I pushed him into Brittany's outstretched hands. She held it up to her face and then put it on it's back in her arms, like you would craddle a baby.

"Santana, he's so lovely!" She exclaimed without looking at me, rocking the kitten and rubbing it's stomach.

"Well, I traded him for you..." I said, shrugging, looking away not to blush at the way she was handling the thing.

"Traded? Traded him for what?" She suddenly stared at me, and her hand shot out to pull me inside. I closed the door.

"Oh, just a date with Pete. I was going to date him eventually anyway." She stares at me, still gripping my arm and having the furrball on her other.

"But what about Puck?" I just laugh.

"What about him? We're just having sex." She seemed a little taken aback by that, but then the kitty yawned and she looked at it and put it down on the floor. It started rubbing her legs and when it noticed us looking it went away to smell the shoes on the floor instead, it's tail shivering.

"I don't know what I was thinking, just bringing him here without-" I didn't get longer before Brittany had thrown her arms around me, almost making us topple over, and planted a big kiss on my cheek.

"I love him, San! He's the best present ever!" I started blushing, hugging her back and not being able to stop myself, I let my hands do circles on her back. She kissed my cheek again and tore herself away.

"Let's show him the house," she said happily and scooped up the kitten. I noticed the muffin in the stairs and picked it up and took a bite before following them into the house. I really needed the chocolate to keep my fingers away from her.

.

.

"Should we ditch english today?" Brittany asks me quietly as she appears beside me.
My eyes are torn away from staring at Quinn, and I take a second to look at her. My hand quickly moves to fix my ponytail, trying to hide the fact that my stomach just did a summersault.

"I think we should." Brittany nods, pushes her books into her locker and I go back to looking at Quinn. She standing all alone in her light pink dress. It makes her look like a five year old, but she does look innocent in it. She always did know how to rock a look. I can't believe I'm going to admit it, but I miss her. She's been staying away from me in fear of being pushed away, but now I decide to finally listen to Brittany.

"Let's hang out with Quinn," I say, ignoring Brittany's suprised look. "Shut up and let's go!" I say, shutting her locker and moving around her. When Quinn sees us heading her way she puts her arms on her hips, true cheerbitch style.

"Yes?" she asks. I roll my eyes.

"Let's ditch class and check out the earlier yearbooks." She gives me a smile and moves in beside me, not leading like we're all used to. It's strange, that's all I can say.

"So, how are you?" Quinn doesn't look at me as she answers.

"I'm getting by. You?"

"Working it." And that's it. We look at each other and smile, before I grab a year book and we both sit down opposite each other. Britt follows me, moving her chair so close that we'll be able to share the same book, her knee pressing against mine.

"Find Manhands, she's everywhere and makes a good drawing board," Quinn muses as I open the first page and right on cue, there she is. Brittany draws out her pink sharpie and hands me her blue one. Quinn smiles, but soon she's drifting away. Ever since she got pregnant she seems to have a lot to think about.

Britt is drawing an affro and a mustauche on Rachel while I'm laughing my ass off.

We both have our hands to our necks, leaning in towards each other. I try to concentrate on my picture, but my face feels tingly after all the smiling. Brittany's shoe is suddenly on my leg, and I avoid looking up, although I feel like a balloon is sweeling in my chest.

"So, Quinnie!" Brittany interrupts her thoughts, but keeps her foot running up and down my bare leg. I bite the top of the pen as I keep looking at the pages, like I'm trying to decide between dorky glasses or devil horns.

"Mhhm?" Her voice is a bit faraway.

"Santana got me a new kitten yesterday!" Quinn's stare is on me, I can tell, but I don't look up.

"Did she now? That's great Britt."

"I know, but I don't know what to name him!"

"Just name him Mittens Junior."

"That's not very nice. Besides, he's a cat. He needs a real name." Quinn laughs quietly, which makes me look up.

"What's a real name then?"

"Well, Mittens real name was Mittens the Mighty. Like the king."

"What King?"

"You know, that King..."I lock eyes with the girl opposite me, and simply shrug.

"Okay, so King Tuna then."

"Noo, he doesn't like Tuna."

"How does he look like?"

"Like a fat maffia boss."

"I meant... what color." Quinn says, laughing.

"He's black, brown and white. And fat."

"Well, name him King Garfield then."

"But he doesn't look like Garfield. Their only resemblence is the fat. And a cat can't be a king. Not really."

"Football?" Quinn laughs as Brittany seems to ponder this and that makes her foot stop going up and down my leg. It annoys me.

"It doesn't sound nice..."

"Just name him after Quinn. They're gonna be just as fat." Quinn glares at me, but Britt looks curious.

"Lord Quinn?"

"Wait," Quinn asks, "a cat can't be a king but it can be a Lord?" Britt nods.

"No, like..." I smile at Quinn, who ignores me. "Lord Tubbers or something."

"Lord Tubbington!" Brittany says loudly, smiling at Quinn, earning a harsh "schhh" from the librarian. "Oh please Quinn, could I? It would be the perfect name! Of course he'd have to like it, but, please!" She just nods, shocked.

"Okay..."

"Yeei!" She jumps up and kisses Quinn on her cheek, then gets banned by the librarian for being so loud. I grind my teeth and starts getting up to defend her, but then I feel Quinn staring angrily at me. I give it right back to her, seeing the smudge of Britt's lipgloss on her cheek. Then we both realise something about me that I am not ready to share.

She starts smiling, raising a questioning eyebrow. Like a shark, I think. Hopefully her life will be too full of her own drama for her to go creating more for me.

"I just thought it fit the cat, that's all. It's a compliment, if anything," I say as nonchalantly as I can, a little desperate to get her on my better side. "By the way, Quinn, guess who I've got a date with?"

.

.

I stumbled through the gate, trying not to swear since I knew Bailey would start barking.

I was drunk, some of it had worn off, but I was still a little unsteady on my feet. I also had a throbbing pain inbetween my legs and lower back. But I'm used to it.

I bite back the sting as I sneak behind the rows of flowers, finding the long wall of the creepers on the white, almost ladder-like wooden thing against the wall. It's just outside of Brittany's window, and I see it slightly open.

I kick off my shoes and hide them in the big Magnolia bush and take a deep breath, before starting to climb my way up.

I think it's a mix of the alcohol and the thought of reminding Brittany of our childhood, when I used to climb the tree outside her window every summer morning, waking her up by singing outside of her window. I guess I also want to hide the fact that I desperatly need her after a night like this. Loosing Mr Schuester was too part of the pain, but I was pretending it wasn't. I hadn't said anything about it and had dropped some nasty comment that had made Tina start to cry. But Britt will understand how I really feel. I'm still gonna be my own, ignorant and mean self, but at least I'll know she's going to care enough to see through my pretence.

I snicker at the comment creeping up in my head, and when my eyes are over the side of the window pane, looking at Brittany in her bed with one of her big cat facts book, looking like she's reading aloud to Lord Tubbington.

I freeze.
Her long hair's hanging on one side of her head, flowing down with slight curls. It's the first time I find them honey coloured, and even from here I see her blue eyes, almost lavender in this light, moving across the page. Her fingers reach out to pat the kitten before she turns the page with long, smooth fingers I long to feel in my hair.

That thought shakes my cheer muscles awake, and I start humming on the shark theme, pushing me up so that my whole head can be seen. Brittany looks up and looks around the room, whispering:

"Who's there?" I put my hands up on the window, pushing it more open and smiling.

"Just a vampire waiting for you to fall asleep so I can stare longingly at you from the shadows," I say quietly, starting to giggle when she looks at me and Lord Tubbington runs up to me, taking a big bite of my nose. I swat him away, pushing with my toes as I fall onto the floor. I try to quiet my giggles, and Brittany hurriedly tip toes over to my side.

"Don't bite, Tubbington," Brittany bans her kitten. "And don't even think about biting him back!" She gives me such a threatening look I have to keep my hand to my mouth not to wake her parents. She kneels down, takes one look at my giggling state and dissapears out of the room like a shadow.

I rolled around so that I lay on my back and Tubbington paws up on my chest, staring at me with blinking eyes. I stop laughing. He was looking right through me. For one drunken second I thought we were the same. Then Brittany came into the room again, shooed the kitten off of me and I sat up. She pressed a glass into my hand.

"Water," she says as quietly as she can without whispering. I giggle into my glass as I think of her whispers, loud and hissing. I love hearing them tickling my ear. Man, this booze really isn't good for my self control. I'm such a horn dog.

"I made you a sandwich," she says, but then she freezes and stare at my arm. I look at it, still drinking the water, so the gesture makes me spill some. It's hard to miss the big, bluish bruises that are forming on my upper arm. Brittany give me a confused look. I hate those looks, and I hate needing to explain them.

"I'm not friggin undead, climbing up here is hard, okay?" She still looks at me with those same eyes as that stupid cat, knowing exactly how I got them. Or maybe she doesn't, but she knows I am lying about this.

Either way she keeps staring.

"It was impossible to get into a good position in the backseat..." I say, annoyance in my voice. I stand up, throwing my handbag off my shoulder.

"Santana..." I refuses to meet her. She's behind me, sitting on the bed with a squeek. I think she have a feeling how I'll react if she touches me, so she doesn't.

"Have you any idea how hard it is to get an orgasm in a car?" I ask, putting on my meanest smile. "Not even my cheermuscles could pull that off, not cramping in that space."

"San." I ignore her and that is when she does it. She places her fingers on my arm, the bruised one, and I feel the familiar sting of warm tears in my eyes. I can't take it, so I pull away, throw the dress over my head and straddle her, putting my arms around her neck.

The last few times we had crossed the line it had been almost like she as playing a game with me. Some crazy ass game that made her look weak and pretty one second and then viscious and flirty the next.

I couldn't keep being victimized by her like this, it was like... It might not be, but it really felt like she was screwing me. And not just literally (well, not yet) but swrewing me over in more ways than one at least. I know, I have trust issues. But considering my parents and earlier friends, and so-called boyfriends, I think I'm entitled to a few.

So feeling like the victim had to stop. I couldn't keep letting my heart take off on a high speed chase every time she sang a song and told me it got her thinking of me... But I couldn't keep away from her either.

So I did the only sane thing I could think of, the most natural thing for me to do. I turned the situation around and turned on my sexiness.

I let her see the fire in my eyes, making sure she didn't miss it this time because it sucked out all my power, and leaned down to press my cheek to hers.

"All I could think about tonight was doing this," I admitted, voice trembling so hard I'm not sure it was on purpose or because I couldn't control it. Brittany held her breath, her hand on my bad arm as I hummed a laugh against her ear, brushing my lips over it and breathing into it heavily. She sighed, and I moved my hand from the covers, down across her between her breasts, crossing her stomach and letting my nails trail across the front of her panties. I don't know if she was just tolerating me, or enjoying this as much as I was. It almost made the big lump in my throat to go away.
Brittany moaned quietly, a strangled version of the ones she'd given me in my room last weekend, and buried her face in my hair to try and muffle the rest of the sound. I moved to kiss her, and she moved her hand to find my thighs, but I flinched and pressed hers to her own instead. I had to stiffle a moan myself, and it felt a lot better. Then I took a hold of both of her wrists, pushing them over her head, leaning down to bite her lower lip. She moaned again, louder, and I knew it was dangerously enough to be doing this when the parents where in the house. I let it go, and she licked my lower lip, before licking her own and then kissing me sweetly. A chasty, teasing one, letting me know she was letting me take the upper hand. I kissed her harder, rubbing my fingers against the fabric and felt her tense, then relax. I did too, not having the muscles left to move away, so I simply lay on top of her. The feel of having her under me made the pain of my own experiences seem more dull. I wanted her to do something like this to me, to make me forget that he ever touched me. In a way I wanted her to be jelous, in a way I wanted her to do what Pete had done to me, but harder, better, winning and wanting to win over him.

She rolled me over gently, lay on the side of me, and inspected my arm.
The cold, sick feeling that was about to grow bigger in my chest went away as soon as her inspecting fingers turned into lips brushing against my darkening skin.

Brittany hummed as she kissed her way up my arm, slowly across my collarbone before trailing down towards my stomach. Her fingers followed, leaving circles on my skin. I sighed, feeling the tension slip off of me and the heat of her touch build. I was turned on, but I was also feeling very... comfortable. I realized I was comfortable lying here in my underwear, being all exposed. In fact I was more exposed than usually because Brittany seemed to have no intentions to screw me at all. Her mouth reached my panties, and she breathed there for a few seconds as if asking permission, making my breath hitch, before she gently pushed my legs apart, trailing her fingers over those same bluish marks there, before trying to kiss them better. The funny thing is that it worked. After she was done I was half asleep, dripping wet inbetween my legs but also feeling very comfortable.

I opened my eyes to see her sneaking out of bed to turn off the lights and shake of her pants. Then she kissed Lord Tubbington on top of his head where he was sleeping on her make up chair, before pulling up the covers.

"Let's go to sleep, Edward" she mumbled under her breathe as we both crept under the same duvet. I tried to turn my back against her, but she cuddled close, putting her arms around me and her face in my neck, and I put my hand on top of hers. Without saying another word I cuddled closer into her, letting her hold me for once, knowing I couldn't keep it up without terrible consequences. She was my best friend for heavens sake.

It's not unusual for girls to experiment and spooning, but they were not supposed to be longing for it. I was far away from ready to face the fact that I might be falling for Brittany. And that I might've always been falling.

No, I was like, light years away from it. And the more I would want to screw Brittany for screwing with my head, the farther away from facing it I would go.